Posts from Hell
by latexidermist
Summary: There are 10389927429 reasons why the Sons of Anarchy characters should not be allowed to have social media. This story will list about 99.99% of them. Except for that .01%. We don't talk about that .01% anymore.
1. Facebook I

**Beginning Notes:** No, I did not die. I've been suffering from Writer's Block, unfortunately, and I haven't been able to do any real writing. But here's something entertaining to keep you busy while I try and get over this block. It will be in Facebook, Kik and later, actual story formats.

* * *

 **Chapter I:** Team Tara or Team Wendy

 **Tara Knowles:** Hey, this is my first time posting on Facebook. Hello, all!

 **Jackson Teller, Clay Morrow, Juice Ortiz, Half-Sack Epps, and 56 others like this post  
**

 **Jackson Teller:** Hi, Tara!  
 **Wendy Case:** Bye, Tara!  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** Fuck you, Tara!  
 **Tara Knowles:** Really feel the love guys thx  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** You're welcome sweetheart :) - **Wendy Case likes this comment  
** **Jackson Teller:** I'm glad you're here, Tara.  
 **Tara Knowles:** Thank you, Jax.  
 **Juice Ortiz:** Can I ask a question?  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** No.  
 **Tara Knowles:** You just did, lol  
 **Juice Ortiz:** … okay…  
 **Juice Ortiz:** Team Gemma or Team Tara?  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** Team Gemma, obvi  
 **Tara Knowles:** pssht Team Tara ftw  
 **Jackson Teller:** WELL LET'S ASK THE WORLD

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** TEAM TARA OR TEAM GEMMA. Tara and Gemma aren't allowed to comment until the end tho - **with Tara Knowles and Gemma Teller-Morrow**

 **Gemma Teller-Morrow, Tara Knowles, Juice Ortiz, Wendy Case and 127 others like this post**

 **Clarence Morrow:** Team motherfucking Gemma. Literally. Mother fucking. As in I've quite literally fucked your mother. **\- Gemma Teller-Morrow likes this comment  
** **Jackson Teller:** I hate you. Both of you.  
 **Nero Padilla:** Team Gemma because of what dat mouf does - **Gemma Teller-Morrow likes this comment  
** **Jackson Teller:** stiLL MY MOM  
 **Tig Trager:** Team Gemma, kiddo. That ass, tho!  
 **Chibs Telford:** Team Tara. She's a medic. Like me. We bond.  
 **Bobby Munson:** Team Tara. She's a doll and she's not always so… rude.  
 **Wendy Case:** What about Team Wendy?  
 **Jackson Teller:** Stfu **\- Gemma Teller-Morrow, Tara Knowles, and 12 others like this comment  
** **Half-Sack Epps:** Team Gemma because she smells like roses and happiness  
 **Juice Ortiz:** You're gay ^ but tru, Team Gemma.  
 **Margaret Murphy:** TEAM TARA. HI TARA, HOW IS YOUR SON?  
 **Jackson Teller:** If you don't get yo annoying ass up out of here biiiissh  
 **Wayne Unser:** I'm in love with Gemma but Team Tara bc Tara isn't such a coldhearted B with a side of itch. **\- Tara Knowles likes this comment  
** **Happy Lowman:** I kinda want to bang and or mutilate the both of them. Double vote.  
 **Jackson Teller:** double vote my ass choose  
 **Happy Lowman:** Hmm. Gemma's amazing body, sexy bedroom experience and sarcasm or Tara's amazing body, intelligence, and adorable virginity-like qualities. It's like choosing between Satan and God. Both can give you a good time, but at what cost?  
 **Tara Knowles:** :o  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** What the fuck. Why am I Satan?  
 **Clarence Morrow:** Well… **\- Tig Trager, Happy Lowman, Half-Sack Epps and 17 others like this comment  
** **Jackson Teller:** OKAY CLOSING THE POLLS  
 **Herman Kozik:** tf I didn't vote  
 **Jackson Teller:** OKAY  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** The fuck is that supposed to mean Clay?  
 **Jackson Teller:** CLOSING  
 **Tara Knowles:** It means that no one likes you, duh.  
 **Jackson Teller:** THE  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** Listen here, you ugly doctor bitch  
 **Jackson Teller:** POLLS

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** Okay. Four for Gemma. Four for Tara. Looks like a tie.

 **Happy Lowman, Clarence Morrow, Tig Trager and 39 others like this post**

 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck me. Fuck you. Fuck this shit in particular.  
 **Tara Knowles:** I hope you all get an untreatable strain of chlamydia.  
 **Tara Knowles:** Well, at least I'm the smart one.  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** You're also the ugly one.  
 **Tara Knowles:** At least I don't have one foot in the grave, grandma.  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** I'd rather have one foot in the grave than have a size nine one up my ass. Which, let's face it, you're getting awfully close to the latter, bitch.  
 **Jackson Teller:** Can't we just agree that you're equally amazing? My girlfriend and my mom - my two girls. That should be important.  
 **Gemma Teller-Morrow:** Shut the fuck up, Jax.  
 **Tara Knowles:** Shut the fuck up, Jax.  
 **Jackson Teller:** :o

* * *

 **End Notes:** Leave post requests, ideas, what you want to see, etc below.


	2. Messenger I

**Beginning Notes:** I have like seven chapters of this shit already done sooo...

 **Chapter II:** Group Chat

 **[Tig]:** I'm drunk, I'm horny, and I think I might've accidentally adopted fifteen puppies. Someone please come over.

 **[Gemma]:** What the hell happened?

 **[Clay]:** I want to hear this story…

 **[Tara]:** I don't.

 **[Jax]:** I do.

 **[Tig]:** I came home. Got crunk on some Vodka and Orange Juice and blacked out.

 **[Gemma]:** Did you just use the term 'got crunk'?

 **[Tig]:** Yes. Anyways, I woke up, still hella drunk and still hella crunk

 **[Tara]:** Hella.  
 **[Jax]:** Crunk.

 **[Tig]:** First of all, that's rude af. Second of all: AND THERE WAS A BOX OF PUPPIES IN MY LIVING ROOM

 **[Juice]:** Still doesn't explain the 'horny'.

 **[Tig]:** Oh I was just hoping Gemma or Tara would pity me and let me tap

 **[Clay]:** I'm right here.

 **[Jax]:** !

 **[Tig]:** A) Clay, you and Gemma have been divorced for like, eight months now, give it up. B) You can join in Jax. I don't mind. Spitroasting is always a party

 **[Gemma]:** t(-.-)t

 **[Tara]:** t(-.-)t

 **[Tig]:** So is anyone gonna help me or...?

 **[Jax]:** No, you want to have sex with my girlfriend

 **[Clay]:** and my wife

 **[Tig]:** okay that's fine but everyone wants to have sex with your girlfriend and EX-WIFE ok they're sexy as shit

 **[Half-Sack]:** BOBBY. WHAT THE SHIT.

 **[Tig]:** ?

 **[Gemma]:** ?

 **[Tara]:** ?

 **[Bobby]:**?

 **[Half-Sack]:** Remember that Season 2 thing where I was like 'bobby what the shit'? Well 'shit' is my trigger word.

 **[Juice]:** DUDE. YOU'RE SO GAY.

 **[Tara]:** You shouldn't use the word gay to describe something bad

 **[Gemma]:** #triggered

 **[Tara]:** stfu Gemma

 **[Gemma]:** biTCH

 **[Tig]:** Is anyone gonna help me with these fucking puppies or nah

 **[Gemma]:** Give me fifteen minutes

 **[Tara]:** Give me ten

 **[Gemma]:** Five

 **[Tara]:** GIVE ME .05 SECONDS

 **[Gemma]:** HA YOU WHORE IT TOOK .05 SECONDS TO READ THAT FUCKIN TEXT

 **[Jax]:** Please don't suck Tig's dick thx

 **[Clay]:** Gemma, what he said

 **[Gemma]:** Yea Tara don't be such a hoe

 **[Tara]:** iM THE HOE SAYS THE BITCH WHO'S HAD A TRAIN RUN ON HER BY THE ENTIRETY OF SAMCRO, 12 PRISONERS AND A HORSE

 **[Gemma]:** WE AGREED NEVER TO TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN

 **[Jax]:** wait wat

 **[Clay]:** wa iT WA T

 **[Tig]:** Damn, Gem, is there video 'cause that sounds like it was A1?

 **[Gemma]:** fuckinG HELL TIG

* * *

 **End Notes:** A little iPhone group chat (I noticed that everyone in SOA had an iPhone when they weren't using pre-pays sooo) for ya nerve.


	3. Facebook II

**Beginning Notes:** Hooooh boy

 **Chapter III:** Confessions

 **Jackson Teller:** For every like this gets, I'll do a confession :D

 **Tara Knowles, Wendy Case, Collette Jane and 19 others like this post**

 **Half-Sack Epps:** Oh boy. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** Oh hell.  
 **Clarence Morrow:** Oh shit.

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** Confession #1 - I had a crush on Margaret Murphy in the eighth grade.

 **No Likes on this post**

 **Margaret Murphy:** I'M FLATTERED JAX HOW ARE THE BOYS **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** How badly did I fuck you up? Honestly? One a scale from like, Half-Sack to Happy?  
 **Clarence Morrow:** He's definitely a Tig, at this point. **  
Tara Knowles:** If we're being technical  
 **Jackson Teller:** no… **  
Tara Knowles:** Jax never went onto the ninth grade  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** Where is this going…?  
 **Tara Knowles:** because he dropped out in the summer between his eighth and ninth grade year  
 **Opie Winston:** TARA DON'T **  
Tara Knowles:** So Jax is still in the eighth grade. Therefore…  
 **Wendy Case:** I'm gonna be sick. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** I don't get it. **  
Tig Trager:** PRESERVE HER **  
Tara Knowles:** JAX STILL HAS A CRUSH ON MARGARET AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA **  
Jackson Teller:** I don't know why ur laughing that just means I don't like u **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** OOP.

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** confession #2 - I own and collect Littlest Pet Shop figures

 **Wendy Case, Collette Jane, Nero Padilla and 16 others like this**

 **Collette Jane:** omg wanna swap?  
 **Wendy Case:** I only have like, four :/  
 **Jackson Teller:** N00B - **Collette Jane likes this comment  
** **Gemma Teller Morrow:** oh god  
 **Half-Sack Epps:** I own all 3179 of them :)  
 **Juice Ortiz:** GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY ^  
 **Half-Sack Epps:** only for you, bb **  
Juice Ortiz:** whAT  
 **Half-Sack Epps:** nothing :)

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** this isn't a personal confession but fuck confidentiality lol confession #3 - mom has a crush on Nero

 **Nero Padilla, Tara Knowles and 2 others like this post**

 **Nero Padilla:** it's more than a crush… ;)  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** THE FUCK JACKSON  
 **Tara Knowles:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** stfu he has a crush on your boss **  
Tara Knowles:** :(  
 **Clarence Morrow:** TF NERO I THOUGHT WE WERE HOMIES **  
Nero Padilla:** bby shhhh it's ok  
 **Clarence Morrow:** YOU'RE FUCKING MY WIFE?  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** …  
 **Nero Padilla:** Currently? **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** SHUT UP.  
 **Nero Padilla:** Yeah, currently, at this moment, I'm fucking your EX-wife. Like holy shit Clay give it up **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** FUCKING SHIT NERO  
 **Opie Winston:** Ah, gross mom! Nero? I thought you were getting your nails done or something  
 **Nero Padilla:** something's getting done but it ain't her nails lololol  
 **Clarence Morrow:** FUC KI NG

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** Confession #4 - i have a recurring nightmares about the cheese sauce, tortilla chip and margarita mix story

 **Tara Knowles, Opie Winston, Donna Winston, Lyla Winston, Juice Ortiz and 2 others like this post**

 **Tara Knowles:** the fucKING CHEESE SAUCE STORY OMG NO  
 **Opie Winston:** Don't. Don't, don't, don't don't don't don't don't don't don't please GOD don't  
 **Donna Winston:** SHUDDERING OMFG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
 **Lyla Winston:** I think we're the only ones that remember it, tbh xC  
 **Jackson Teller:** thaT'S A FUCKING SHAME BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SCARRED  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** I'm confused. **\- Tig Trager, Happy Lowman, Chibs Telford and 20 others like this comment  
** **Jackson Teller:** OH BOY.  
 **Tara Knowles:** Okay, I'll tell it. **  
Opie Winston:** pls Tara no  
 **Tara Knowles:** Jax, Opie, Donna, Lyla, Juice, Wendy, Half-Sack and I all went out for a best friend's day… and keep up with the story people, because the shit gets weird.  
 **Opie Winston:** Half-Sack, who's like… a shroom addict or some shit idk, he left his shrooms in Gemma's fridge on accident  
 **Wendy Case:** Do you see where this is going because I sure as hell didn't **  
Juice Ortiz:** Gemma thought they were regular mushrooms and put them in her salad. She tripped out first. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** I did what now? **  
Lyla Winston:** Tig found her in the backyard. Sitting naked in a tub of cheese sauce. Giggling like a schoolgirl. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** NO.  
 **Jackson Teller:** YES. Realizing what happened, he ate some of the salad. IT JUST GOES FUCKING DOWNHILL FROM HERE GUYS  
 **Donna Winston:** It wasn't long until Clay came home. While Gemma was bathing in her tub of cheese sauce and getting crunk, he too was butt naked and was tossing tortilla chips on her like it was stripper money. He was making it rain.  
 **Tig Trager:** I'm not surprised. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** oh my GOD  
 **Happy Lowman:** KEEP GOING.  
 **Tara Knowles:** tf don't rush me motherfucker. But anyways, Clay and the gang came in and didn't want to be the only sober ones because that's boring ass shit. They each ate a mushroom off of Gemma's half-eaten plate and got HIGH AS SHIT.  
 **Lyla Winston:** Next thing we know, we come home to find Luann and Gemma wrestling naked in cheese sauce while Tig, Happy, Clay and Chibs threw tortilla chips on them. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** oh my god.  
 **Luann Delaney:** and no one filmed it? WHAT THE HELL THAT COULD'VE BEEN A GREAT VIDEO I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET GEMMA TO DO A VIDEO FOR YEARS AND THE ONE TIME SHE DOES SOMETHING WORTHY OF ONE, IT'S NOT CAMERA. YOU'RE ALL FIRED.  
 **Clarence Morrow:** wait… margarita mix?  
 **Jackson Teller:** Bobby & Jury were eating margarita mix from the packets and talking about the odds of them being the sperm that fertilized their mother's egg **  
Bobby Munson:** yea not surprised lel

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** I'm sleepy so no more confessions lel gn

 **No one likes this post**

 **Tara Knowles:** SO IN CONCLUSION  
 **Collette Jane:** Jax has a LPS collection that we should toooootally share one day **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** I once got fucked up off of shrooms and cheese wrestled with my best friend **  
Nero Padilla:** I'm fucking the one that got fucked up off of shrooms and cheese wrestled with her best friend  
 **Clarence Morrow:** I hate the guy that's fucking the one that got fucked up off of shrooms and cheese wrestled with her best friend  
 **Bobby Munson:** dry margarita mix is good as fuck  
 **Margaret Murphy:** JAX HAS A CRUSH ON ME :)  
 **Happy Lowman:** if I'm ever short on money, I'll just use tortilla chips **  
Wendy Case:** AND GOOD NIGHT.

* * *

 **End Notes:** Not really that funny but oh well


	4. Facebook III

**Beginning Notes:** Hooooh boy

 **Chapter III:** Confessions

 **Jackson Teller:** For every like this gets, I'll do a confession :D

 **Tara Knowles, Wendy Case, Collette Jane and 19 others like this post**

 **Half-Sack Epps:** Oh boy. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** Oh hell.  
 **Clarence Morrow:** Oh shit.

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** Confession #1 - I had a crush on Margaret Murphy in the eighth grade.

 **No Likes on this post**

 **Margaret Murphy:** I'M FLATTERED JAX HOW ARE THE BOYS **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** How badly did I fuck you up? Honestly? One a scale from like, Half-Sack to Happy?  
 **Clarence Morrow:** He's definitely a Tig, at this point. **  
Tara Knowles:** If we're being technical  
 **Jackson Teller:** no… **  
Tara Knowles:** Jax never went onto the ninth grade  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** Where is this going…?  
 **Tara Knowles:** because he dropped out in the summer between his eighth and ninth grade year  
 **Opie Winston:** TARA DON'T **  
Tara Knowles:** So Jax is still in the eighth grade. Therefore…  
 **Wendy Case:** I'm gonna be sick. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** I don't get it. **  
Tig Trager:** PRESERVE HER **  
Tara Knowles:** JAX STILL HAS A CRUSH ON MARGARET AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA **  
Jackson Teller:** I don't know why ur laughing that just means I don't like u **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** OOP.

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** confession #2 - I own and collect Littlest Pet Shop figures

 **Wendy Case, Collette Jane, Nero Padilla and 16 others like this**

 **Collette Jane:** omg wanna swap?  
 **Wendy Case:** I only have like, four :/  
 **Jackson Teller:** N00B - **Collette Jane likes this comment  
** **Gemma Teller Morrow:** oh god  
 **Half-Sack Epps:** I own all 3179 of them :)  
 **Juice Ortiz:** GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY ^  
 **Half-Sack Epps:** only for you, bb **  
Juice Ortiz:** whAT  
 **Half-Sack Epps:** nothing :)

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** this isn't a personal confession but fuck confidentiality lol confession #3 - mom has a crush on Nero

 **Nero Padilla, Tara Knowles and 2 others like this post**

 **Nero Padilla:** it's more than a crush… ;)  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** THE FUCK JACKSON  
 **Tara Knowles:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** stfu he has a crush on your boss **  
Tara Knowles:** :(  
 **Clarence Morrow:** TF NERO I THOUGHT WE WERE HOMIES **  
Nero Padilla:** bby shhhh it's ok  
 **Clarence Morrow:** YOU'RE FUCKING MY WIFE?  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** …  
 **Nero Padilla:** Currently? **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** SHUT UP.  
 **Nero Padilla:** Yeah, currently, at this moment, I'm fucking your EX-wife. Like holy shit Clay give it up **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** FUCKING SHIT NERO  
 **Opie Winston:** Ah, gross mom! Nero? I thought you were getting your nails done or something  
 **Nero Padilla:** something's getting done but it ain't her nails lololol  
 **Clarence Morrow:** FUC KI NG

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** Confession #4 - i have a recurring nightmares about the cheese sauce, tortilla chip and margarita mix story

 **Tara Knowles, Opie Winston, Donna Winston, Lyla Winston, Juice Ortiz and 2 others like this post**

 **Tara Knowles:** the fucKING CHEESE SAUCE STORY OMG NO  
 **Opie Winston:** Don't. Don't, don't, don't don't don't don't don't don't don't please GOD don't  
 **Donna Winston:** SHUDDERING OMFG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
 **Lyla Winston:** I think we're the only ones that remember it, tbh xC  
 **Jackson Teller:** thaT'S A FUCKING SHAME BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SCARRED  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** I'm confused. **\- Tig Trager, Happy Lowman, Chibs Telford and 20 others like this comment  
** **Jackson Teller:** OH BOY.  
 **Tara Knowles:** Okay, I'll tell it. **  
Opie Winston:** pls Tara no  
 **Tara Knowles:** Jax, Opie, Donna, Lyla, Juice, Wendy, Half-Sack and I all went out for a best friend's day… and keep up with the story people, because the shit gets weird.  
 **Opie Winston:** Half-Sack, who's like… a shroom addict or some shit idk, he left his shrooms in Gemma's fridge on accident  
 **Wendy Case:** Do you see where this is going because I sure as hell didn't **  
Juice Ortiz:** Gemma thought they were regular mushrooms and put them in her salad. She tripped out first. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** I did what now? **  
Lyla Winston:** Tig found her in the backyard. Sitting naked in a tub of cheese sauce. Giggling like a schoolgirl. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** NO.  
 **Jackson Teller:** YES. Realizing what happened, he ate some of the salad. IT JUST GOES FUCKING DOWNHILL FROM HERE GUYS  
 **Donna Winston:** It wasn't long until Clay came home. While Gemma was bathing in her tub of cheese sauce and getting crunk, he too was butt naked and was tossing tortilla chips on her like it was stripper money. He was making it rain.  
 **Tig Trager:** I'm not surprised. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** oh my GOD  
 **Happy Lowman:** KEEP GOING.  
 **Tara Knowles:** tf don't rush me motherfucker. But anyways, Clay and the gang came in and didn't want to be the only sober ones because that's boring ass shit. They each ate a mushroom off of Gemma's half-eaten plate and got HIGH AS SHIT.  
 **Lyla Winston:** Next thing we know, we come home to find Luann and Gemma wrestling naked in cheese sauce while Tig, Happy, Clay and Chibs threw tortilla chips on them. **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** oh my god.  
 **Luann Delaney:** and no one filmed it? WHAT THE HELL THAT COULD'VE BEEN A GREAT VIDEO I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET GEMMA TO DO A VIDEO FOR YEARS AND THE ONE TIME SHE DOES SOMETHING WORTHY OF ONE, IT'S NOT CAMERA. YOU'RE ALL FIRED.  
 **Clarence Morrow:** wait… margarita mix?  
 **Jackson Teller:** Bobby & Jury were eating margarita mix from the packets and talking about the odds of them being the sperm that fertilized their mother's egg **  
Bobby Munson:** yea not surprised lel

* * *

 **Jackson Teller:** I'm sleepy so no more confessions lel gn

 **No one likes this post**

 **Tara Knowles:** SO IN CONCLUSION  
 **Collette Jane:** Jax has a LPS collection that we should toooootally share one day **  
Gemma Teller Morrow:** I once got fucked up off of shrooms and cheese wrestled with my best friend **  
Nero Padilla:** I'm fucking the one that got fucked up off of shrooms and cheese wrestled with her best friend  
 **Clarence Morrow:** I hate the guy that's fucking the one that got fucked up off of shrooms and cheese wrestled with her best friend  
 **Bobby Munson:** dry margarita mix is good as fuck  
 **Margaret Murphy:** JAX HAS A CRUSH ON ME :)  
 **Happy Lowman:** if I'm ever short on money, I'll just use tortilla chips **  
Wendy Case:** AND GOOD NIGHT.

* * *

 **End Notes:** Not really that funny but oh well


	5. Facebook IV

**Beginning Notes:** It's summer and I've got nothing to do so prepare to have these coming at you rapid fire

 **Chapter IV:** Responsibility

 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** I'm going to MURDER Tig. I'm going to MURDER him.

 **Clarence Morrow, Jackson Teller, Tara Knowles and 18 others like this post**

 **Tig Trager:** Aw, baby. You know you love me 3  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** I'd sell you to satan for one corn chip.  
 **Clarence Morrow:** DAMN.  
 **Jackson Teller:** what did you DO?  
 **Tig Trager:** what's important is that we have our health  
 **Tara Knowles:** I'm snickering to myself can you tell  
 **Jackson Teller:** what did he do?  
 **Tara Knowles:** not my place to tell lololololol  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** That's right. So you better not.  
 **Tig Trager:** c'mon Gem it's not so bad  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** this motherfucker  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** THIS motherfucker  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** THIS MOTHERFUCKER  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** NOT SO BAD, TIGGY? I'VE GOT ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE  
 **Tig Trager:** you're not that old  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** FUCKING HELL TRAGER I'M A TAKEN WOMAN I CAN'T HAVE THIS YET  
 **Jackson Teller:** WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** NO.  
 **Jackson Teller:** WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU YELLING AT ME I DIDN'T DO WHATEVER HE DID DAMN GIRL OK RUDE AS SHIT

* * *

 **Tig Trager:** Look, Gem, I get it. You're angry. But I feel as though it's time we moved forward together and so I did what was in our best interest.

 **Tara Knowles likes this post**

 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** We cannot have another responsibility nOT TO MENTION THAT NERO IS MY BOYFRIEND THANKS I'M NOT DOWN TO HAVE THIS SORT OF COMMITTMENT WITH YOU  
 **Tig Trager:** … i fucked up, huh?  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** Yeah. You did. Nero's gonna kill me...  
 **Tig Trager:** We'll get through this though… right? **  
Jackson Teller:** Is my mother pregnant?  
 **Tara Knowles:** I just spat my coffee I can't with you  
 **Tig Trager:** WHAT  
 **Nero Padilla:** She better not be. I'm not afraid to kill, Trager.  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** I have like 20 children with the lot of you what makes you think I'm pregnant  
 **Jackson Teller:** 'we cannot have another responsibility'  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** … **  
Tig Trager:** …  
 **Tara Knowles:** …  
 **Tig Trager:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA **\- Gemma Teller Morrow and Tara Knowles like this comment  
** **Gemma Teller Morrow:** I'm not pregnant, asshole. Wait... do I look pregnant?  
 **Nero Padilla:** That's what the fuck I thought.  
 **Tara Knowles:** Yes. Yes you do.  
 **Tig Trager:** I bought a new tamagotchi pet. She's not ready.  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** It's a lot, right now. **  
Jackson Teller:** all of this **  
Jackson Teller:** all oF THIS **  
Jackson Teller:** ALL OF THIS  
 **Jackson Teller:** OVER A FUCKING  
 **Jackson Teller:** TAMAGOTCHI PET?  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** IT'S A LOT, RIGHT NOW.

* * *

 **End Notes:** What'd you think? What'd you want to see? Leave it below!


	6. Facebook V

**Chapter VI:** Crush 3

 **Wendy Case:** I'm really crushing hard on this girl… but she likes someone else. What do I do?

 **Tara Knowles, Jackson Teller, Clarence Morrow and 20 others like this post**

 **Tara Knowles:** Who?  
 **Wendy Case:** You need to know who for me to give you advice?  
 **Tara Knowles:** Alright then I guess I won't help  
 **Wendy Case:** FINE. FINE. Check your DM's  
 **Tara Knowles:** OH BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HER? REALLY.  
 **Wendy Case:** Yeah. I know. Gosh.  
 **Tara Knowles:** She's so… OLD.  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** Watch your motherfucking mouth that's a fucking bad word bitch  
 **Tara Knowles:** but you… but it's not even… but YOU…  
 **Tara Knowles:** nvm so what're you gonna do Wendy  
 **Wendy Case:** I dunno just forget it  
 **Tara Knowles:** HA  
 **Tara Knowles:** You hear that Gemma?  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** Ya  
 **Tara Knowles:** SHE ASKED A TELLER WOMAN  
 **Tara Knowles:** NOT TO MEDDLE  
 **Tara Knowles:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

* * *

 **Tara Knowles:** Raise your hand if you like or have liked **Wendy Case**

 **Gemma Teller Morrow, Jackson Teller, Wendy Case and 16 others like this post**

 **Jackson Teller:** meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
 **Wendy Case:** i dunno i kinda like myself i'm cute  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** A brief, fleeting, thought of - I'd tap that. **\- Clarence Morrow, Tig Trager and 12 others like this  
** **Gemma Teller Morrow:** I'm not alone.  
 **Wendy Case:** I mean… if you're still down, Mama Gemma ;) Nero ain't the only one that can call you Mommy  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** g2g  
 **Luann Delaney:** you're kinda hot ig  
 **Wendy Case:** REALLY?  
 **Wendy Case:** I mean  
 **Wendy Case:** I know, pfft.  
 **Luann Delaney:** Right…  
 **Lyla Winston:** OMG  
 **Tara Knowles:** ARE YOU SEEING WHAT I'M SEEING  
 **Lyla Winston:** Wendy and Luann, sittin in a tree  
 **Wendy Case:** K-I-L-L-I-N-G. :)  
 **Lyla Winston:** …  
 **Lyla Winston:** OPIEEEEEEEEEEEEE WENDY MADE ME CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  
 **Opie Winston:** where tf is she  
 **Wendy Case:** OOP.

* * *

 **Wendy Case:** NEVER. EVER. EVER. INVOLVE A TELLER WOMAN WITH YOUR SHIT. #lessonfuckinglearned

 **Jackson Teller, Clarence Morrow, Tig Trager, Nero Padilla and 174 others like this post**

 **Tara Knowles:** We're not THAT bad.  
 **Gemma Teller Morrow:** Bitch, you're a Teller woman so…  
 **Wendy Case:** Tara, go fuck yourself. Gemma, no. Don't associate me with that, god, please no.  
 **Luann Delaney:** Wendy… I'm flattered but…  
 **Otto Delaney:** BUT FUCK OFF HA SIKE BITCH YOU THOUGHT  
 **Luann Delaney:** ^  
 **Wendy Case:** omg I'm gonna DIE of embarrassment... wait how did Otto get internet in prISOn  
 **Luann Delaney:** It's ok sugar it's… cute  
 **Gemma Teller Morrrow:** HA SIKE BITCH YOU THOUGHT  
 **Luann Delaney:** ^  
 **Wendy Case:** brb gonna kms


End file.
